>When ones, such as myself, have the will to live be so strong that we am able to force and command ourselves back to life (albeit with a bit of otherworldly assistance) and mend our own pain and wounds through our own dedicated work, we may begin to forget that there are things which can still burrow down into our being and make us recall what it is like for the uninitiated masses. Blind and deaf to the world beyond them, they are ignorant to what they can become and chained by their concept of reality from being more than they could dream.
>Through my research and work, I have been able to overcome what many will never even understand exists. I walk a line so fragile and thin that a mere misthought can lead me from the blade’s edge and drive me deep into the unknowable muck that surrounds us all. Not the simple muck that most folks see, but the true depth of muck that is set to drown the souls (or what is left of them) of my cohorts and myself. I have, in the past, grown weary and will admit that I have plunged into such depths to test the waters and truly understand the importance of the path that I walk, for in the world that we exist is one of such unknowns that would drive Moon Mages mad with envy. We must taste and explore, but but not lose ourselves in so doing. This is something easily written but the enormity of the difficulty in practice could never be expressed in words.
>I have suffered two great experiences of late which drive my mind wild with possibility. I am again recognizing myself standing upon the blade teetering and unaware of what will happen should I fall. These both hit at my soul so strongly that I am yet reminded that despite all I have done it is there and that I have the ability to at least decide if I shall fight or tumble into madness.
>I traveled to the ancestral lands of my people, something so distant it seems unreal. I never thought I would see the lands that my parents almost never spoke of for even they considered them lands lost forever. But I had heard that signs of Her were there, that all the sacrifices I had made to finish her before were not complete, I had to go. I had to see that I continued my work and ended Her forever. Leaving her be, would be allowing her seed to grow and become strong again. We were successful and again I had my hand involved in her demise, this time making sure it was complete.
>My heart beating from the joy of the moment, was quickly silenced. For returning from the trip I found that my one last tether to the world before this path was severed. My husband dissolved our bond to clear himself and his family name from what I have become. I never thought that this would affect me as it has but things can be funny that way. Perhaps this was a final gift, freeing me from one of the last chains and opening myself to true Freedom.
>In my total loss, I have been given another chance to see to my work and focus myself. I shall continue to look for those who can teach me more about the delicate path I walk. I shall find the Islander who whispers to me and sends me visions of another life, and I shall find the Luminary who shall share another side to our path. Both shall be discovered and in one way or another my place will be found.
