A Day in the Life of a Small Peccary
By: SINGEXYZ2
Originally posted by SINGEXYZ2 (The Nox) on June 14, 2001 to the:
DR Message Boards > General Discussion > Humor
>
>look
[Gwenalion Fens]
A stunted oak grows by itself, away from the dark mass of underbrush that marks the edge of the forest proper. Half-uprooted by wind or water, the gnarled tree is canted toward the forest, its limbs crushed against the ground, its roots exposed to the air. Yet it survives, clinging to life with tenacious determination as its roots stretch out to take hold again in the fertile soil of the fens.
Obvious paths: north, south.
>'hmm...time to find an adventurer
You say, "hmm...time to find an adventurer
>snort
You snort.
>exp
Showing only skills with field experience.
To see all your skills, type EXP ALL
You currently have no field experience in any of your skills!
Time Development Points: 15 Favors: 8 Deaths: 1803 Overall state of mind: clear
You are relaxed and your mind has entered a state of rest.
EXP HELP for more information
>'gah!!!...i can't believe i forgot to wake up yesterday!
You exclaim, "gah!!!...i can't believe i forgot to wake up yesterday!
>sigh
You sigh.
>awake
You awaken from your reverie and begin to take in the world around you (You will now begin to gain new experience again).
>s
[Gwenalion Fens]
The path twists and winds through the fen, skirting sodden depressions which fill with water after each rainfall, sullenly draining in better weather. Mounds of wildflowers thrive in the damp soil -- vibrant patches of pink, red, yellow, purple and blue swaying amidst the deep green ground cover. Over it all, the forest looms, dark and secret, the thorny thicket that guards its borders an impenetrable barrier. You also see a human barbarian.
Obvious paths: north, east, southeast.
>'aha
You say, "aha"
>enga barb
You begin to advance on the human barbarian.
>
A human barbarian begins to advance on you! The human barbarian is still a distance away from you and is closing steadily.
>
A human barbarian closes to pole weapon range on you! A human barbarian stops you from advancing any farther!
>
A human barbarian moves into a position to parry.
>
A human barbarian closes to melee range on you!
>slash
* Driving in with naturally fluid movements, a human barbarian slices a scimitar at you. You dodge.
[You're solidly balanced with no advantage.]
Moving well, you lower your head, tilt it to one side, and slash your curved tusks at a human barbarian. A human barbarian evades, jumping to one side.
[You're slightly off balance with opponent in good position.]
[Roundtime 4 sec.]
>
Small Peccary Squeesnort just arrived.
>
Small Peccary Squeesnort begins to advance on a human barbarian.
>
Your mind hears Blood Wolf Klawz thinking, "where are all the adventurers tonight?"
* Driving in like an adept combatant, a human barbarian steps back and slices a scimitar at you. You attempt to evade, leaning wrong and blundering into the blow. The scimitar lands a strong hit that rips into your right calf.
[You're battered, off balance with opponent dominating.]
>
* Moving with incredible power and control, a human barbarian slices a scimitar at you. You fail to evade, failing miserably. The scimitar lands a good strike to your right eye, lightly stunning you.
[You're beat up, poorly balanced with opponent overwhelming you.]
>slash
Driving in like the irresistable force of a cyclone, you lower your head, tilt it to one side, and slash its curved tusks at a human barbarian. A human barbarian counters your tusks with a scimitar.
[You're beat up, poorly balanced with opponent overwhelming you.]
[Roundtime 6 sec.]
>
Small Peccary Squeesnort closes to pole weapon range on a human barbarian.
>'i'm about to die Squee, watch out this adventurer is tough
You say, "i'm about to die Squee, watch out this adventurer is tough"
>
Squeesnort snorts wildly.
>
A human barbarian moves into a position to parry.
>
Squeesnort says, "you pansy, i'm gonna be eatin him for lunch"
>
Swamp Troll Flthfiht just arrived.
>
Small Peccary Squeesnort closes to melee weapon range on a human barbarian.
>
Driving in like the irresistable force of a cyclone, Squeesnort lowers his head, tilts it to one side, and slashes his curved tusks at a human barbarian. A human barbarian counters his tusks with and emblazoned tower shield.
>
Driving in like an unbeatable force, a human barbarian jabs a scimitar at you. You attempt to evade, pivoting toward safety but still partially within harm's reach. The scimitar lands a brushing hit to your left arm.
[You're beat up, extremely imbalanced with opponent overwhelming you.]
>
* Driving in like an adept combatant, a human barbarian steps back and slices a scimitar at a you. You attempt to evade, leaning wrong and blundering into the blow. The scimitar lands a very heavy hit that rips into the right calf, knocking you completely senseless.
[You're smashed up, completely off balance with opponent overwhelming you.]
>
You teeter and nearly fall over.
>
* Moving as one fluid extension of power, a human barbarian slices a scimitar at you. You fail to evade, leaning wrong and blundering into the blow. The scimitar lands an extremely heavy hit that collapses the ribcage and bursts the diaphragm in a messy splattering of bloody pink froth.
You flop in a porky heap, squealing one last time before passing into oblivion.
>
Your death cry echoes in your brain as it quickly dawns on you that you have just died! Already, you feel the tug of eternity upon your spirit and you struggle to remain tied to this world.
You are somewhat comforted that you're just a peccary and have no need for favors with your God and are in no danger from passing on into the Starry Road forever.
Your body will decay beyond its ability to hold your soul in 1 minute.
[You're extremely imbalanced]
>'someone drag me so he can't skin me?
You say, "someone drag me so he can't skin me?"
>
A human barbarian slings an emblazoned tower shield over his shoulder.
>
A human barbarian struggles with you and manages to remove your stubby tusk. Blood soaks into it badly though, nearly ruining it.
>
A human barbarian searches you, how rude.
>
A human barbarian puts your stubby tusk in his rucksack.
You decay away.
[Critters Purgatory]
All around you are the souls of other creatures waiting to be put back into an earthly form. For some, an undead form awaits. The landscape is just how you imagined Critters Purgatory to be, cold and grey. After all, you've surely visited this place at least once before.
Also here: The spirit of Lesser Sluagh Sunbaked, The spirit of Pale Grey Death Spirit Darksyyd, The spirit of Granite Gargoyle Shhtomp, The spirit of Adan'f Blood Warrior Krackinskuulz.
Obvious Paths: none.
>sigh
You can't do that here.
>'i'm tired of dying all the time...i'm outta here
You open your mouth to speak and are greeted with the overwhelming sound of silence. Now shut up.
>quit
Solomon
"The probability of someone making a mathematical formulation on a non-mathematical subject is inversely proportional to its usefulness."
- Brust's Law of Mathematical Formulations
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